Offbeat by Richard Matheson

Author:Richard Matheson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Valancourt Books
Published: 2017-02-26T05:00:00+00:00

Two O’Clock Session

The breakthrough came at two forty-one. Until that time, Maureen had done little more than repeat the bitter litany against her parents and brother.

“I have nothing to live for,” she said then. “Absolutely nothing.”

Dr. Volker didn’t respond, but felt a tremor of excitement in himself. He’d been waiting for this.

He gazed at the young woman lying on his office couch. She was staring at the ceiling. What was she thinking? he wondered. He didn’t dare to speak. He didn’t want to break in on those thoughts, whatever they might be.

At last, Maureen spoke again. “I guess you didn’t hear that,” she said.

“I heard,” Dr. Volker replied.

“No reaction then?” she asked, an edge of hostility in her voice. “No sage comment?”

“Like what?” he asked.

“Oh, God, don’t start that again,” she said. “Respond with an answer, not another goddamn question.”

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Volker said. “I didn’t mean to make you angry.”

“Well, it did make me angry! It made me—” Her voice broke off with a shuddering throat sound. “You don’t care,” she said then.

“Of course I care,” he told her. “What have I ever done to make you think I don’t care?”

“I said I have nothing to live for.” Maureen’s tone was almost venomous now.

“And—?” he asked.

“What do you mean and?” she snapped.

“And what does that make you feel like?”

The young woman shifted restlessly on the couch, her face distorted by anger. “It makes me feel like shit!” she said. “Is that precise enough for you, God damn it! I feel like shit! I don’t want to live!”

Closer, Volker thought. A shiver of elation laced across his back. He was glad the young woman was turned away from him. He didn’t want her to know how he felt.

“And—?” he said again.

“Damn it to hell!” Maureen raged. “Is that all you can say?!”

“Did you hear what you said?” Volker asked as calmly as he could.

“About what? About having nothing to live for? About wanting to die?”

“You didn’t use the word die before,” he corrected.

“Oh, big deal!” she cried. “I apologize! I said I don’t want to live! Anyone else would assume from that that I want to die! But not you!”

“Why do you want to die?” Volker winced a little. He shouldn’t have said that.

Maureen’s silence verified his reaction. It became so still in the office that he heard the sound of traffic passing on the boulevard. He cleared his throat hoping that he hadn’t made a mistake and lost the moment.

He wanted to speak but knew that he had to wait. He stared at the young woman on the couch. Don’t leave me now, he thought. Stay with it. Please. It’s been such a long time.

The young woman sighed wearily and closed her eyes.

“Have you nothing more to say?” he asked.

Her eyes snapped open and she twisted around to glare at him. “If I said what I wanted to say, your hair would turn white,” she said, almost snarling the words.

“Maureen,” he said patiently.

“What?”

“My hair is already white.”

Her laugh was a humorless bark of acknowledgment.

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